The Ten Commandments
by Heart Torn Out
Summary: And how Team Free Will broke them all. And this is why they aren't going to heaven. Quck read. Pretty much crack!


**Some crack everyone. Enjoy.**

**Warning: religion.**

* * *

**Ten Commandments**

"We're all going to Hell," Sam said one day, looking up from his computer.

"What?" Dean answered.

"No, seriously Dean. We are all. Going. To hell."

"Whose going to hell Sammy?" Dean then asked, a little exasperated.

Sam looked a little sheepish as he answered, "Team Free Will."

Ok, so when Dean had called them that, he had been kidding. And now, his little brother was taking it a bit too seriously. "And how, may I ask, is 'Team Free Will' going to hell?"

Sam made a face that made Dean think his little brother thought it was obvious. "Oh, let me count the ways…."

* * *

**I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD. YOU SHALL NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GODS BEFORE ME. YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FOR YOURSELF AN IDOL.**

"So you're… a pagan?" Sam asked.

Gabriel shifted. Well, this was weird. Try explaining to your boyfriend that technically, you have two religions. "Well… sorta."

"A pagan archangel?"

Gabriel sighed. "Yeah."

Sam tried to make sense of that. "So…. You were like, a God. And people…worshipped you?" Gabriel nodded. "And you were like… with other Gods and stuff?"

Gabriel groaned. "Yes, Sam. I was with other Gods, considered a God and all that 'other' stuff."

"So people worshipped you, like a statue of you?"

"And pictures."

Sam scowled. "Isn't that like, against your existence?"

At that Gabriel smiled. "Why, yes Samuel. Yes it is."

And Sam had no idea what to say to that.

* * *

**DO NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD IN VAIN.**

Sam: "Oh my fucking God!"

Dean: "Jesus Christ!"

Sam: "Hold shit!"

Dean: "Mary, mother of God!"

Sam: "God damn it!"

Dean: "God! Fuck!"

* * *

**REMEMBER THE SABBATH AND KEEP IT HOLY.**

It was a Sunday. The Sabbath, Castiel reminded the brothers. Yet, Dean seemed more interested in going to a bar than to church and Sam seemed more interested with going to see that demon, Ruby, than going to a priest and asking for forgiveness.

Sometimes, Castiel really wondered about them.

But then again, he was sitting right next to Dean, downing shots as fast as he could, to no affect.

So what did that say about him?

* * *

**HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.**

"You know what dad?" Sam said, livid. "Screw you! I'm NEVER coming back! You and Dean can go chase around your little monsters and get yourselves KILLED, but not me! Do you hear me? Not. Me. So screw you, Dad, screw you."

And Sam walked out of their lives, intent on going to college, getting an education and having a normal life.

Sam never listened to his father anyway.

**

* * *

**

YOU SHALL NOT KILL.

Sam stabbed the werewolf in the chest as Dean slit another's throat. Blood spilled from both half men and they fell to the ground. Beside them, Castiel blasted a vampire to a crisp, as Gabriel toasted one, laughing maniacally and earning a wince from Sam.

"He's not _my _boyfriend," Dena snickered as the archangel had way too much fun killing.

And Sam rolled his eyes, because if he said anything about Castiel, he'D have a black eye, little brother or not.

* * *

**YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.**

**(BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IN CHRISITANITY, OR AT LEAST WHAT I'VE READ, HOMOSEXUALITY AND COMITTING HOMOSEXUAL ACTS, IS ADULTERY.)**

Castiel was pinned to the wall, Dean's lips crushing his. It was nice, and sweet and satisfactory. Dean slipped off his trench coat, grinding into his angel and not caring who was upstairs and watching.

Because even God could be a pervert.

If he wanted to be.

And then, it kind of hit that he was defiling an angel of God.

They were both SO going to hell.

* * *

Gabe didn't mind as much, since he was the one defiling his Dad's favorite creation. No, Dad wouldn't be happy, at least, not if the scripture was right. Because this was WRONG.

But boy did it feel… awesome.

Oh, and right.

Yeah, that too.

* * *

**YOU SHALL NOT STEAL.**

"Dean," Sam hissed, "what are you doing?"

Dean slipped his hand into the abandoned register and smiled, pulling out a wad of equally abandoned cash. "What?" he said innocently. "It's not like they're coming back for it." He rolled his eyes as Sam pulled Bitch Face #76, the 'I-Can't-Believe-You-Just-Did-That' face.

What a little bitch.

And it was only stealing if you got caught. And by your little brother did NOT count.

* * *

**YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOR.**

"He did it!" Gabriel yelled, pointing to a random man in the middle of the street. Whom , by the way, was innocent. "He took that amulet! Get him! Get him!"

And people started to chase the man as what we know as Team Free Will made their getaway.

"Gabe that was wrong," Castiel said, feeling a little guilty that he had let his brother do such a thing. That was why Dean and Sam brought him along when Gabe came with them: to keep him in line.

But Gabe just rolled his eyes and said, "Well, its not like it's a Commandment or anything."

Castiel slit his eyes. "Number eight actually. You shall not bear false witness against-"

"Your neighbor and blah-blah-blah," the archangel finished.

And the conversation as over.

* * *

**YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBORS WIFE.**

Dean looked at the blond at the bar. She was in a short dress that hugged her body and showed all the right parts, dark red lipstick and nail polish and she looked absolutely gorgeous.

Sam had noticed her too, and had the same thoughts running through his mind.

And then, they both saw the wedding band around her finger.

"Maybe-"Dean started only to get cut off by Sam.

"Don't even think about it. Besides," he added cheekily, "you have a perfectly good angel at home."

And Dean had to agree with him on that.

* * *

**YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NAIGHBORS GOODS.**

Dean was almost drooling. That Corvette! Man it was a beaut. And it was just the right color and the right model and make and… it was pretty awesome.

And that stupid, stupid rich, punk ass guy who lived in the big, spiffy white house owned it. Of course he did. And Dean wanted that car SOOOO bad….

Not that he didn't love his baby, but he was a sucker for old cars. And that one was definitely from the seventies, the eighties at the oldest.

And he only wanted to touch it. Or take it for a drive. Or just… take it.

He sighed driving past.

Well, he couldn't have the cake and eat it too.

* * *

"Damn," Dean muttered. "So… we've all broken _every single one_ of the commandments?" Sam nodded. "Damn."

"Right? And it says that if you break em all…." Sam stopped reading. "Maybe the internet is lying?"

Dean shrugged. "What the hell?" Sam winced. "We were going least we had fun."

And Sam had to agree with that.

* * *

**So?**


End file.
